New Leader Rises in CranAmerican Ranks

By Watson Polkirk, Tech Reporter

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The Cranamerican Foundation has raised eyebrows in recent months for its bold statements regarding the late Dr. Lily Miller, founder and CEO of Braintune. In the weeks prior to Dr. Miller’s death, rumors circulated  Dr. Miller had converted to the Cranamerican point of view and was considering leaving BrainTune and her husband, Tom Freeman.

Many continue to believe that Freeman was behind Miller’s death, although the police say insufficient evidence is hampering the investigation. 

Tignernach Francis, the spiritual leader of the Cranamericans, has been particularly passionate on the topic of Miller. 

DAILY DOSE: Thank you for speaking with us, Ms. Francis. What was your relationship like with Dr. Miller?

TIGERNACH FRANCIS: I did not know Dr. Miller personally in her Lily incarnation. But the Lily incarnation had been attending our prayer circles for nearly a month before the Lily incarnation was destroyed. Lily came to see the wisdom of our beliefs. The Lily incarnation was a very spiritual person.

DD: Can you clarify what you mean by “Lily Incarnation”?

TF: We believe the soul transcends the physical plane—much as Lily did, in fact. The soul is not attached to any single body. The Lily incarnation’s soul still exists, even though its previous body was destroyed.

DD: I see. Despite Dr. Miller’s death being ruled an accident, rumors persist that she was murdered. Do the Cranamericans believe that Tom is responsible, or the 4reeMachines

TF: No one knows what the Digitalist 4remachinists are capable of. 

DD: Is that a yes?

TF: The Lily soul is all-forgiving. However the Cranamericans have sworn vengeance on Ada Mal, who has been denounced by even the extremist fringe of technology worshippers, She continues to seek ways to encourage body swapping and even the ability to hijack the physical form via chip implantation. 

However, We are spiritual beings.

DD: What do you means when you talk about body-swapping. 

TF: The Lily incarnation and the Cranamerican Foundation believe the same things. We believe the spiritual incarnation is not tied to a physical home, as I said. Lily showed us that technology may be a path to enlightenment. We showed her the spiritual truth of her beliefs.

The hackers are murdering incarnations and stealing their brains. You know corpses have been discovered all over town. The hackers have a new leader who will stop at nothing to bring us all to harm.

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DD: You’re referring to Ada Mal, the so-called “dark horse” of the Freemers. There’s no proof she exists.

TF: There’s no proof Lily exists. But she does. She lives on in all of us. Faith does not require proof.

DD: What about Tom Freeman? Do you think it’s possible he murdered his wife?

TF: The Tom incarnation is pure of heart.

DD: Is there any truth to the rumors you and Tom Freeman are a couple?

TF: The Lord moves us all in His infinite wisdom, Watson. I trust in the Lord.